In 1981, I found a new way of life and I still think of it as a dream from which I do not want to be awakened. Before that, I remember having a feeling of quiet-ness, of a happy and peaceful family, but at the same time a feeling of impotence when seeing what was going on in the rest of the world. For as long as I can remember, I recall my mother giving sandwiches at the door of our house to a gipsy woman, Tomasa, and her six children (I believe that my mother paid the education of three of them). As a child I would ask my mother, ‘why are this people so poor?’. I grew up and things were going well for me, but I continued having a sense of dissatisfaction. “Is there something else?” I would think. I liked many things: my studies, the group of friends from my parish, boys… but nothing was enough. Until one day I was forced to attend, I have to admit, a Mass celebrated every year in my town, in the ruins of a castle. To my surprise, the priest celebrating the Mass was not the usual person who was there every year, but a priest from out of town, with a beard: his name was Paco, and people said that he was the new parish priest at Saint Nicasio, a church in a marginal neighbourhood in the outskirts of town. As I had been born in the downtown area, I did not even know it existed. After the celebration, something inside me, I am not sure what, pushed me to greet him. I think I told him I was happy for his visit or something like that. He was accompanied by a group of young men and women that reminded me of the actors in “Jesus Christ, Super Star”, a movie that was popular at that time. I went to him with two friends from my “scout” group. I thought that he would not pay attention to me, but to my surprise they invited us for dinner the following Thursday at 8 p.m. That day at 6:30 someone called on the phone, on behalf of the priest, asking if I liked lentils…
When I went with my two friends, everything seemed as if we were in a movie: we found a group that worked together and got along well with each other.
Paco invited us to work at his parish, where the church was a garage and where the poorest people of town lived. This filled me with great enthusiasm. Finally I could do something for the world that brought so much sorrow to my heart.
Thus began a fascinating story. We provided food for the gipsy children that came to the parish looking for help (sometimes they would steal the purses from the women who came to Mass). We took them on weekends to the beach, the mountains; we looked for doctors for them, and got milk for the poor schools in town. We also prepared the Sunday masses: we planned the liturgies and practiced the songs. In order to take the children out during summer we needed money to pay for transportation and food, and to our surprise people began to help us. We… a bunch of young, long-haired people! Since then I started to live with the certainty that God was there, giving me energy, strength, and showing his providence.
Paco would talk to me about the women in the Gospel and I thought: ‘how is it that I had never noticed that there were women in the Gospel that left everything to follow Christ?’ “The women who had come with him from Galilee” (Lk 23:55). Why had no one explained all this to me? How interesting! I was more and more convinced: this was what I wanted for the rest of my life.
I had always done well in my studies and in everything I set out to do. Now, finally, I had a plan that was beyond me: God, through that priest, was challenging me to do what had been a constant challenge in my life since then, to try to be like the women in the Gospel, brave and generous, witnesses to the Resurrection of Jesus and bearers of life to the ends of the world.
Things started to get difficult because not everybody saw things the way I did, especially my friends and family. However, the more difficult they made it for me the more sure I was about what I wanted (I have to recognize that back then I was not very good at dialogue).
I was going to University to study philosophy and dreamt about being completely free, to leave my current life behind and live in the community Paco had started with some young people from his previous parish. When I visited they would let me cook, iron; we would talk for hours. The women talked about going to Africa. It was 1983 when the first women left for Kenya. I thought it was intriguing: to live together, study, travel and help people who suffer, improve the world… that was what I wanted.
When I finished my studies in philosophy, I had already visited Kenya and started to study nursing, a requirement they asked in order to obtain work permits in Africa. Besides studying, we worked in strengthening the civil association we had established, looking for collaborators and gathering funds to help people in Spain and Kenya. During those years we signed the first contract with the European Union for a health project in Turkana, Kenya… us! We were aware that we were starting the greatest business of all: making the world a better place. We also had the best boss, our Father, who leads us to participate in his humanity and divinity.
Not everything has been easy in all these years. I felt unhappy seeing so many people of the world suffer, and I’m still saddened by the fact that the world will not treat well those who try to stop the suffering. Quite often we do not receive the support and understanding we need to continue fighting for a better world.
In the years that I have been part of the community, I have lived in several countries: in Kenya, Germany, Ethiopia, Mexico, back in Ethiopia… always trying to feel compassionate with the ones who suffer, always with the certainty that I have a strength that is not mine. The challenges and surprises continue, the call I received is still present, Paco’s authentic and strong proposal continues there, and other young people have decided to follow this path of the Gospel through me. Isn’t that a surprise? I dream everyday of those who will come, those who will add to the group of women and men that follow Christ’s light, that go from one place to another being witnesses to something big. I thank Paco for paying attention to me, inviting me to live this life; to my brothers and sisters in faith, for this adventure of loving each other till the end; and above all I thank Him who sees everything, for being there.
Here I am now, knowing that I am unworthy of being a part of this human and divine story, which is like a dream I do not want to be awakened from… it feels like the Kingdom of Heaven which begins on this earth, though still full of suffering and misunderstanding. From here we catch a glimpse of the future, a glimpse of God’s pale shadow that awaits us with open arms.
Lourdes Larruy, MCSPA
