It has been ten years since Paco left us yet as we have seen, his memories and life are still very much imprinted in ours. That means that he truly lives for ever! To talk of Paco, is not easy since he influenced and changed the lives of so many people, as Fernando said yesterday, there are very many versions of the Man! These versions of Paco also changed with the passing of years, and nobody can do justice to his persona since we all experienced him in different shades. That is why allow me to give my version and my understanding of my experience having lived with Paco for 20 years! Though somehow some aspects do stand out!!
It was in 1993, when I was only 20 years old when Paco met me in the streets of Nairobi, near Jamuhuri Estate. This encounter started a relationship that would change my life; it’s a journey that has been repeated in this house. It involved eggs from Othaya house, and it would lead to my visit of Turkana in that same year. It was then that I was attracted to this missionary community; then followed a call to leave everything and follow Christ.
In these years, I experienced 4 kinds of love in him that have been in turn infectious towards us.
Tender love
It was Paco’s tender love that revealed to me the love of Christ at first-hand. It was his tenderness that marked my soul and changed me. It was not only to me but mostly to the poor, to the elderly and to the downtrodden. He did not see people as trees, (as in the story of Mark 8:22-26) or a landscape. He saw people as they were, people.
In many ways he was like the Samaritan man in the story of the good Samaritan: He cared and patched the wounds of those whom he met and were broken. Many times, he was also the father in the story of the prodigal son, who received us with open arms when we had wasted love. How many times did that happen to me?
He loved everybody and paid attention to all, either you were the excavator driver, or a waiter, Paco would pay attention to you. He did that to me and that is why I am here; he saw in me that which I didn’t see in myself, and being from different cultures and race, I was for him his sheep as was the rest. He treated people as Christ treated us, selflessly.
Tough love
Paco combined and sewed together the tender love with tough love. He was tough, no doubt since he insisted on truth and honesty from us. He did not entertain mediocrity. This made us be aware of our weaknesses. He did not sugar-coat it, he said it as it was; he called a spade a spade, in this way he did not allow us to shipwreck our lives, since for him truth telling was more important than peace keeping. By peace keeping I mean being politically correct. His tough love stood out and this for those who were with him did help us to bring the best version of ourselves!
Sacrificial love
In this fusing of tender and tough love, Paco also portrayed the sacrificial love to us in many ways. He always put us first before himself. I remember once we were visiting the Nuncio in Spain and Paco immediately mentioned that we didn’t have a good reputation, but the Nuncio was quick to respond that we do not need a good reputation here on earth but rather in heaven. He didn’t mind sacrificing his reputation for what was right. Paco dedicated his life for us so that we might live, he dedicated his energies so that the world might become a garden. Until his last breath he was out there working making manure and gabions even when he was very sick, there was no self-gratification, but rather to build a community of Christ, a community that is to do good, as in the words of evangelist Mark (Mark 8:34-35), “whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it” this sacrificial love was not just a feeling but an action. And that is why MCSPA members we are ready to go out to the most challenging missions, to places where few would rather venture, since this sacrificial love has been infused in us by Paco. As Paco found his strength in the Lord, so shall we.
Radical love
Lastly Paco combined the tender love, tough love, and sacrificial love with radical love. In the tempest of trouble, he would not defend himself. He would rather turn the other cheek than fight. Even when we suffered division, he was ready to give everything! For Paco there was no bare minimum, it was all or nothing. A dam had to be bigger. If we had to support someone, there was never halfway, it must be all the way! As in Matthew 22:37-40, Paco loved with all his heart, soul, and mind. And these lessons we have learnt well, we go beyond the call of duty. In living this radical love, we try to break the vicious cycle of hunger, war, and drought and not to be indifferent in the middle of people’s suffering.
Paco was tough with us, so that we can live and be a sign of this love in the world, in the places where we work. It’s been ten years since you left us, you showed us that this is the best way to imitate Christ; as written in your tombstone, “to be a good shepherd who lays down his life for his sheep”. You too were the good shepherd who lied down your life for your sheep. Continue watching over us, continue resting in peace!
Fr. Steven Ochieng MCSPA
